Fine
by Dawnbreak55
Summary: A short drabble thingy about our favourite female Praetor and how she struggles with herself. Angst (with a happy ending) Rated T just to be safe.


**A/N**

 **OK so this was something I actually wrote a while ago, but never got around to posting, so I hope you enjoy it and stuff because I think it actually came out decently?**

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"You OK?" she hears Gwen ask. "Fine" she replies as she gives a curt nod and continues her inspection of Camp Jupiter. It's one of her many duties as praetor after all, and although she's being crushed by an invisible force and she's seeing black dots in her vision she still has to make sure everything is running smoothly.

She's fine.

"Alright?" Dakota asks her, words slurring as usual because of all the Kool-Aid. "I'm fine. Thank you." She answers, looking up from all the work piled on her desk to stare at him until he leaves without saying anything else. She's looking for Jason and trying to ignore the nagging voice in her head that keeps saying that he's gone forever. It's hard though, and she's starting to believe it, to doubt her common sense, because he disappeared a while ago without a word and demigods never survive long on their own. She shakes her head. "No." she thinks, she has to keep trying, keep being strong for her camp, no matter how hopeless she's getting, or how tired, disappointed and useless she's feeling.

She's fine.

Then, almost like magic, Percy appears. No memory, nothing. He's different, powerful, strange and dangerous. She thinks that maybe she can get over Jason and actually be fine. Except that he's got someone. She smiles wryly, of course he does, because since when do good things happen to her?

"Everything alright?" he asks one day after they battled, because he's caring and friendly so he asks everyone. She's not special. She tilts her head to the side and answers "just thinking, I'm fine." He stares into her eyes for a few seconds longer

(She holds his gaze steadily obviously, because she's not about to let him intimidate her)

and she wonders if he knows that she's clearly lying. But then he nods and asks "again?" while holding his sword up and she nods and they battle.

(He wins. He uses moves she's never seen before and she vows to work harder and learn all that he knows so that she can protect her camp better and maybe one day even beat him)

He asks if she's OK the next day and every day after that. He answer is always the same.

She's fine.

Jason is back and she's standing tall, regal, like a Praetor should.

(Inside though she's jumping up and down and shaking with nerves and excitement)

They lock eyes and he gives her a small, uncertain smile and for a second she smiles back and relaxes a bit. Then she notices he's holding another girl's hand, and the girl must feel her gaze because she turns to stare at her before turning back to Jason and kissing him, whispering in his ear while he blushes a brilliant red.

Her whole body tenses and she feels like her heart's been stabbed repeatedly, then ripped out of her chest and stomped on by a herd of bison. She feels a wet, burning sensation in the back of her eyes and all she wants to do is curl up in a ball and cry. She doesn't know why she's so surprised though. Why would Jason like her anyways? Why would anyone like her at all? She doesn't even really like herself.

But she blinks her eyes, and strengthens her blank face mask, before coming forward and mostly emotionlessly greeting their new allies to Camp Jupiter. That's when it all goes to Hades of course, and that Valdez guy starts to fire on the one place she's ever called home.

She's fine.

She's got her work cut out for her though. What with both Percy and Jason leaving, Octavian rallying some of her campers against the Greeks, and rebuilding the damage done to Camp Jupiter. She doesn't sleep more than maximum 10 hours a week and eats only when either Dakota or Gwen come to check up on her. She's exhausted but she has to keep going. It's her camp, her home, her responsibility and she's going to protect and take care of it until her last breath.

She's fine.

But she's not, and she knows her façade is slowly faltering.

Faltering.

Fading.

Failing.

Falling.

Finished.

Gone.

It's really all a blur.

Until.

Until she meets Nico for real on the quest with Hedge.

They talk. They laugh. They share secrets. They tell stories and cry and fight.

And she thinks that maybe she has finally found another real, best friend.

Maybe, just maybe, for the first time in a while, when someone asks her how she's feeling, she can honestly reply and say

She's fine.

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 **So yeah. That's it. I don't know if I really like the ending though…..**

 **This IS pretty much not proofread, mostly because I'm a lazy ass who doesn't have the energy to read it over again and check for mistakes so if you find one write to me and I'll fix it.**

 **Comment and let me know what you thought? I'm always trying to improve my writing!**

 **Thanks so much for reading loves! Hope you liked it!**


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